Whether to marry Home Min or Fin Min?

The Economic Times Online
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Whether to marry Home Min or Fin Min?
BARUN JHA & SMITA NANDA

INDIATIMES NEWS NETWORK[ TUESDAY, DECEMBER 06, 2005 01:39:48 AM]
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DINK (Double Income No Kids) is the buzzword when it comes to new-age family formats. Kids or not, the unwritten thumb rule for both the spouses is to contribute to the family kitty for meeting the ever-expanding household financial needs. But does this mean that in today's world it is impossible to make both ends meet unless both the partners are working? There are quite a few factors, however, that work against a clear-cut conclusion that earning wives make more financial sense than non-earning housewives.


Both the earning and non-earning wives bring a different set of expenses to the household budget, and the actual contribution of the two can vary depending on various factors such as total household income, ages, job profiles, work experience, lifestyles, societal status and the emotional compatibility.

Here, we will discuss two set of couples each in three different income groups for a comparative analysis --. the husband being the sole contributor to the family kitty in the first set and both the partners earning in the second set. Also, we have tried to keep the household expenses have been confined to those heads that vary between the different sets of couples discussed here.

Another point to note is that here we have talked about modern couples where the male partners do not have an identity crisis every time their wives start going to work.


Take one – The beginners

Rajeev, technical support associate with an IT start-up IT, and Sneha, a front-desk executive in an MBA coaching institute, are both in their mid-20s and have been married since the past six months. Both are working since the past couple of years and their combined income comr to around Rs 25,000 per month, or Rs 3 lakh per annum.

Rajeev's colleague, Sunil, belongs to the same age group and his salary is also similar. However, Sunil's wife Sunita is a housewife, which brings their total household income at around Rs 15,000 per month, or Rs 1.8 lakh per annum.

At first glance, Rajeev and Sneha seem to be leading by more than Rs 1 lakh over the Sunil-Sunita household. However, Rajeev says that his bank balance remains the same as Sunil's at the end of the month. Both Rajeev and Sunil spend an equal amount on their individual clothes, accessories, conveyance and various work-related expenses. However, while Rajeev relies most often on the office canteen for his lunch, Sunil always brings food from home. Besides, Sneha also eats her lunch in the office canteen, while Sunita cooks it at home for both herself and Sunil. For dinner also, Rajeev and Sneha quite often rely on pizza home delivery or takeaways due to time constraints.

Sneha says that she needs to buy a new dress almost every second month, as she wants to have a variety in her office wears. Accessories, such as bags and purses, cosmetics, expensive women's and fashion magazines such as Femina and Gladrgs, and beauty parlour-visits also grab a good chunk of Sneha's overall expenses.

In contrast, Sunita's wardrobe consists of mostly cotton suits and sarees that she wears mostly at home. She has a good collection of some costlier dresses that she wears to parties, shopping trips and her other outside ventures. However, these occasions are rare as Sunil finds time only on weekends and even on off-days he would prefer to take some rest. Therefore Sunita's wardrobe still contains quite some dresses that she has not used more than once and therefore there are limited chances of any further additions in the near future. Sunita's expenses on accessories and beauty parlours are also much lower compared to Sneha.


Rajeev and Sneha say that they always try to catch the latest movies and dine in a good restaurant on weekends, as these are the only means of entertainment and some quality time spent together. Then, the two have their own set of office parties, get-togethers, trips, official meetings lunches etc and individual expenses associated with them. The two also spend separately on conveyance to their respective offices – while Rajeev drives his motorcycle, Sneha takes an autorickshaw. And then, the family runs into a huge phone bill at the end of the month, as both needs to keep separate mobile phones besides one landline phone at their home.

However, Sunita outscores Sneha when it comes to the number of magazine subscriptions. The overall utility bills at the Sunil-Sunita household are also much bigger than that of Rajeev and Sneha. Sunita watches quite some time in front of TV and regularly hosts kitty parties and other neighbour get-togethers at her house. Sunil says that Sunita regularly asks for some latest audio CDs and DVDs as she feels bored alone at home. Relatives and other friends are also more frequent at the Sunil-Sunita household, as compared to that of Rajeev and Sneha as the two are at home only at nights. Lately, Sunita has also developed a habit for frequenting the neighbourhood temple and also spends on pooja and other religious events both at home and in the temple.

Rajeev and Sneha have also started worrying about further rise in their household expenses once they decided to have a child. They will need to go for a crèche and/or a full-time maid in the initial years, as Sneha will not be able to get a maternity leave of more than four months. Once their kid is ready to go to school, they plan to send him/her to a boarding school, as they cannot ensure the required care for the child here at home.

Rajeev and Sneha concede that they are not any better than Sunil and Sunita in financial terms at the end of a month. Moreover, they envy Sunil and Sunita as they themselves do not have any time for kids or each other. Although as a saving grace Rajeev and Sneha definitely enjoy a better lifestyle.

Now take your pick – Do you want better lifestyle or more quality time together?


Take two – The professionals

Nikhil and Pooja are in their early-30s and can be considered as Rajeev and Sneha a few years down the lane. Nikhil, a technical writer with an e-learning software firm, is working for more than five years, while Pooja is working as a content editor in a BPO since the last three years. The two have been married over the last three years and have a 2-year girl child Ananya. Nikhil and Pooja are pooling in Rs 40,000 per month as the total household income.

Akash and Alka live in the same apartment as that of Nikhil and Pooja. Akash is a software programmer working in the IT sector for past six years, but Alka stopped working after marriage, as both of them decided that Akash's individual income, that is Rs 25,000 per month, was enough to meet their household expenses. However, the two regret the decision some times, when they see that couples like Nikhil and Pooja are much better off financially.

Similar to the first set of couples, Nikhil and Pooja spend more on individual clothes, accessories, conveyance, mobile phones, kids and lunch breaks, as compared to Akash and Alka. In addition, the collective household expenses of Nikhil and Pooja are also more than Akash and Alka's, as they also include more spending on foods with all the eating-outs takeaways and home deliveries, entertainment and weekend outings, holidays etc.

However, when compared to Rajeev and Sneha the double-income couple of the first set, the expenses are not much larger in the Nikhil-Pooja household. The additional expenses as for Nikhil and Pooja are limited to the visits to gyms/fitness clubs to match their societal status, relatively bigger brands for apparel, accessories, restaurants and other household items etc. However, the difference in the total income of the two couples more than makes up for these extra expenses.

The rise in expenses, however, for Akash and Alka is much bigger, when compared to the solo-earner couple of the first set, Sunil and Sunita. As Akash belongs to the same societal strata as that of Nikhil, his individual expenses are similar. Besides, as Akash and Alka live in the same apartment as that of Nikhil and Pooja, Alka's circle of neighbourhood friends mostly consist of wives of good-earning husbands. Alka's expenses are much larger than that of Sunita, in terms of kitty parties, temples/religious functions, jewellery, costlier sarees/suits and home entertainment. Alka also loves to go on rapid shopping trips with her friends. Also, being a good cook, while Alka certainly saves a lot by giving home-cooked food to her husband for lunch, more often than not, she splurges on exotic items and one can always be sure of a well-laden table filled with a variety of food items at her home.


Since the past few months, Alka has also started taking active part in an NGO to utilise her free time. While this hobby is winning good accolade for Alka, this is also making a dent in her household budget.

Akash and Alka say that they still manage to save some money for their future and kids with some good investment and money management decisions. However, they concede that couples such as Nikhil and Pooja where husband's income is equal to that of Akash's, are financially better off than themselves. On winning side, Akash and Alka outscore Nikhil and Pooja on the emotional quotient front, as the two enjoy more quality time together and with their son Aman. However, Nikhil and Pooja are also satisfied with whatever time they get for each other and for their daughter Ananya.

The high-fliers

This set contains two couples who rank well above the four couples discussed so far in income and ewxperience. Abhay and Shelly are working for over 10 years now and their combined income ranges between Rs 65,000 and Rs 80,000 per month, depending on their stock market pickings. While Abhay holds a senior managerial position with a garment export firm, Shelly is secretary to CEO at a mid-rung software company. Their daughter Piya is studying in 8 th standard at a boarding school in Ranikhet.

Arun is a software developer in the same office where Shelly works and hos income is between Rs 35,000 and Rs 40,000. Arun's wife Sunanda used to work as a career counselor earlier but had left her job after giving birth to their daughter Sonya. Both the couples are in the age group of mid-to-late 30s and both the households also count on returns from their stock market investments, besides their salary incomes.

While the household incomes of both these couples are much larger than the previous four couples, the household expenses, both individual and collective, also outscore considerably over those of the previous couples discussed here. In case of Abhay and Shelly, costs of basic items such as apparel, accessories, fuel bills, utility bills etc get much higher compared to those of couples from previous two sets. However, the difference is minimal when comparing Abhay-Shelly and Arun-Sunanda households.


Abhay-Shelly and Arun-Sunanda are even more brand-conscious and also go for designer labels occasionally, as compared to their lower income group brethren. For example, while the first set of couples go for Rupa and VIP brands of undergarments, the second set prefers Jockey and Lovables and the third set opts for brands like Marks & Spencer. Similarly, while the first two couples are comfortable with their entry-level mobile phones, the second set carries mid-range camera and MMS-enabled phones and the third set of couples have high-end smart phones in their hands. The personal accessories of the third set of couples also income high-tech gadgets such as iPods.

In the Arun-Sunanda household, where Sunanda is not earning, the wife becomes more of a spendthrift and often engages into impulsive buying during her frequent shopping trips. Also the jewellery advances to diamond and platinum, as compared to gold and silver in the case of previous two sets of couples. The beauty parlours that Sunanda frequents are also costlier than that of other women we have discussed so far. While, Shelly, who is also earning, does not visit beauty parlours so often, she makes it up with her visits to expensive gyms and fitness clubs. Both Abhay and Arun are also more conscious about their fitness, compared to their counterparts in the lower income groups.

The fuel and utility bills for Abhay-Shelly and Arun-Sunanda households are also much larger as both the couples drive their own cars and their household appliances include high power-consuming gadgets such as plasma TV and full-automatic home theatre systems. The two couples also keep full-time servants at their homes, although they do not need maids to take care of their children who are studying in boarding schools.

While Abhay, Shelly and Arun are quite frequent in their business meetings in clubs, pubs and five-star hotels, Sunanda has her own set of friends with whom she frequents the clubs. As compared to kitty parties of other non-working wives in our study, Sunanda goes to five-star parties. Sunanda is also to a great extend attracted towards social service and is member of a big NGO and quite often makes large donations for various causes, which are much larger than the donations to temples and for other smaller events done by Sunita and Alka, the other two non-earning wives. In fact, Abhay, Shelly, Arun and Sunanda all four can be termed as wannabe socialites or party animals.

On a comparative basis, both Abhay-Shelly and Arun-Sunanda households are much better placed financially, when compared to the other four couples, thanks to their larger income. Between the two, Abhay-Shelly and Arun-Sunanda fare almost equal in financial terms. In terms of lifestyle too, both the couples are nearly on same footing, but definitely score much better than the other four. But, the emotional quotient, including the time spent together, is not any better in case of both Arun- Sunanda and Abhay-Shelly and both the couples fare miserably when compared to the previous four couples.


In a nutshell

We will gauge all the six couples on three scales of money position, lifestyle/status and quality time spent together. On a scale of 1-3 from bad to very good, Rajeev and Sneha score 1 on money front, 2 on lifestyle and 1 one on emotional front, which brings their total score to 4. In comparison, Sunil and Sunita who belong to same set but wife is not earning, the scores are 1, 1 and 3 respectively and their total score is 5. Hence, a non-earning wife becomes a better proposition in this set.

In the second set, Nikhil and Pooja, where both are earning, score 2 on money front, 2 on lifestyle and 2 on emotional front, and their total score is six. The second couple Akash and Alka score 2 on money front, 1 on lifestyle front and 3 on emotional front, which brings their total score to six again. Though the second couple is better off in emotional front, in lifestyle stakes the first couple come out winners. The result: a draw.

For the third set of couples, Abhay and Shelly score 2 on money front, 3 one lifestyle and 1 on emotional front. The second couple in this group, Arun and Sunanda score 2 on money front, 3 on lifestyle and 1 on the emotional front. The both-earning couple scores a total of six in this set, while one-earning couple makes a total score of six as well. Again a draw. Therefore it does not really matter in this group whether the wife works or not.

On first glance one would consider that the last set of couples should strike a high of eight or nine when it comes to the total score, given their huge total household income. However, a comparative study of all the six couples reveals that Sunil and Sunita, and to some extend Nikhil and Pooja, are the best positioned to reach a break-even point in terms of financial strength, lifestyle and emotional quotient all.

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